Hunter is now two months old and i have had my fair share of unsolicited comments. Some of them are just mildly irritating "You don't look anything like him.". Those, i can easily let go. BUT there are comments which really annoy me. Whether they're just trying to make conversation, stating the obvious or just being plain nosey, people should think twice before saying these to a new mom.
1. Did it hurt?
An almost 8 pound baby came out of me. Of course it hurt. I was given an episiotomy which means layers of my muscles and flesh were cut so that the baby can come out. I was given painkillers which I think only half worked because i still felt pain. If you're a female, think dysmenorrhea pain times ten. If you're a guy, imagine being kicked in the balls over and over. So yes, it hurt a whole lot.
2. Is he sleeping through the night?
Are you kidding me? Newborn here. I'm lucky if he sleeps 4-6 hours straight. And even then, i have to try to feed him every 3 hours (dehydration issues) which might or might not wake him up.
3. Any statement/ question about my weight.
Okay, i know it has been two months and i still haven't lost weight. You know what? I don't really care. I'm taking care of a newborn baby AND a toddler. So i still don't fit into my prepregnancy clothes. That doesn't concern me as much as fulfilling the needs of both my children.
4. You look tired/ exhausted.
Hello there Captain Obvious! I just carried a baby for 9 months and now I'm breastfeeding him every 2 hours. So yes, good bye sleep. To add to that, i have another child with needs too. This means that in between feeding, pumping, bathing and changing the baby's diapers, i have to try to pay attention and play with my toddler.
5. Let him cry it out..
Pretty sure you've never been in a room with a crying baby. So we'll just leave it at that.
6. Are you sure you can drink/eat that while you're breastfeeding?
This really gets to me. I love coffee and when people see me drinking it, I get a lot of stupid questions. Just let me enjoy my drink in peace. I know i have done more research about it than you and I'm not an idiot. I will not do something that will endanger my child.
7. Are you guys thinking about having more? Or "Sundan na yan!"
Yeahhhh how about no. I just had a baby. I still feel pregnant. I haven't had any sleep. At this point i just want to get the next few months over with so i can have some semblance of normalcy. So no. And don't you dare try to laugh this question off. It's not funny. And i just might punch you in the face.
8. Any judgy statements or questions like "You're not circumcising him are you?" "What you're breastfeeding again?"
My child, my decision. Don't ever make me second guess myself. I get that you would do things differently if it were your baby, but he's not.He's mine. So yes, i would very much appreciate it if you can be encouraging and supportive without being judgmental.